Losing a Spouse: Three to Six Months After Loss

By now most of the big stuff is probably done. The thank you notes have been written and mailed. The marker or head stone has been placed or you’ve found a place for the urn. You’ve probably filed for the life insurance, and perhaps you’ve even begun to clean out his closet.

You may be wondering, what have I missed?

· Have you changed the titles to the car?

· Put the deed to the home in your name?

· Have you changed the utilities and cable service into your name?

· Is your medical power of attorney up to date?

· Have you updated your estate plan or will?

· Have you spoken to an accountant or tax expert about any tax consequences associated with gifts you have made or increased allocations from IRA or investments?

How about you? What are you doing to take care of you?

· Are you up-to-date with your health and dental care?

· Are you eating well?

· Are you learning to cook or have you gotten someone to mow the lawn?

· Have you had lunch or dinner with a friend?

· Have you done something fun? A movie? Golf? A ballgame?

Scientists tell us there is a hand/mind connection. Doing things with our hands actually increases our sense of well-being. Even simple chores such as washing the dishes, preparing your meal, or even making your bed help to provide purpose and a natural routine. Why not step outside of your box and try something creative that you used to enjoy doing or have thought about trying? Don’t discount the value of a craft, woodworking or art project.

Finally, see people. Human contact is vital to your new normal. If your friends and family aren’t calling you, then call them. Look for a movie you would like to see, a museum you would like to visit, or a restaurant you would like to try and ask someone to join you.

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